Troy's declassified school survival guide
by LevittLover
Summary: 15 BEST ways to annoy your teacher yes… the Wildcats have claws! A.K.A Chad and Troy share their wealth of Wildcat wisdom with the world


15 BEST ways to annoy your teacher (yes… the Wildcats have claws!)

(Chad and Troy share their wealth of Wildcat wisdom with the world)

Hey people, Troy here. Wow I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker on Sex in the city…Wait…Did I say that out loud?!

Ha ha, Troy watches Sex in the City!

That's rich coming from an obsessive Oprah fan!

Hey, dude, Oprah is a totally powerful insight in to the trials and tribulations of the citizen's of the modern world and contains real life lessons, so I won't take that as a diss, I'll take it as a compliment.

…Wuh?

Dude, did coach mistake you for a basketball? Cause, I swear that there's nothing but air underneath that hair of yours.

It's good hair though, you've gotta admit it…

Nah, the real women love men with a fro.

Whatever you say dude

Hey…Are you rolling your eyes?

…No comment.

But by saying "no comment" you ARE commenting

Enough of your trickery you heathen! Yeah, I can adapt Shakespearean language, and what? Let's get on with the words of wisdom here.

Oh yeah, we've been like totally ignoring our reader people for the past five minutes. Sorry guys; Troy just doesn't stop talking does he?

Hey!

Will you shut up dude?! Sheesh, not everything's about you!

"sniggers"

Here they are; the fifteen lessons in school life…

There not really lessons though, more like…instructions.

Troy, if you don't stop interrupting then I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

But it's my house!

Details, details, just shut up and help me with this; the people need to know the facts.

Yeah, power to the people!

Troy?

Yea.....p?

Don't do that. You're not black.

Neither are you, you're a milky coffee colour at best!

"Laughs" Whatever dude…

CHAD AND TROY'S 15 BEST WAYS TO ANNOY YOU'RE TEACHER

1.) Applaud and cheer loudly when their back is turned and then stop and look innocent when they turn around. (This can go on for the whole period and requires very little effort on your part)

2.) If you get a sub, pretend to be an exchange student. (There are loads of these, but we thought of our best three)

ECCENTRIC BRITISH KID- Say "Toodle-pip" and "Tally-ho" interrupt classes with only cricket related questions, refuse to participate in anything your teacher asks claiming that it's just "not British" and leave half way through the class insisting that you're late for tea with the Queen.

SURFER KID FROM MALIBU- Rough up your hair (Chad you're gonna have to sit this one out…I'm sorry dude) then swish it back from your face at least once a minute. When a teacher asks you a question stare blankly at them, blinking as slowly as humanly possible with your mouth slightly open until they give up. Rush to an open window every so often, pointing outside and yelling "Yo, dudes! There are some totally knarly squirrels outside, and they're getting it on!"

GENERAL FOREIGN KID- When your name gets called in role call, just sit there and ignore it, pretending you don't understand. When a teacher tries to speak to you say "Me speaky no Englaise" over and over again with increasing volume. When he/she gives up, turn to your friends and start talking normally but look confused and repeat "Me speaky no Englaise" if the sub starts to talk to you again. Once they've got really ticked off look them in the eye when they're talking, nod in understanding and then when they ask you if you understand, pause for a minute in thought and then shake your head and shrug your shoulders smiling vaguely while repeating the classic phrase again, slowly this time.

3.) Develop a sudden and irrational fear of paper and scream whenever sheets gets passed around the class, jumping up and standing on your chair shouting "It's everywhere! Get it away from me!"

4.) Become irritatingly indecisive about everything. Tick all the answers in the pop quiz claiming you didn't think it was fair on the other letters just to pick one. Contradict yourself several times within a sentence, change tenses if you can just to add a little more confusion to the situation, do this when speaking and writing. Put your hand up every time he/she asks a question, but put it down if he/she picks you, saying that it doesn't matter, remembering to put it straight back up when he/she turns away.

5.) To every statement the teacher makes say "Is that some kind of sick racist joke?!"

6.) To every statement the teacher makes say "But, WHY??"

7.) When the teacher mentions Shakespeare give a dramatic little scream and shout "Don't speak his name!" refer to him as "You know who" for the rest of the semester.

8.) If you're made to stand outside in the hall while the teacher comes out to yell at you or "make an example of you" as some would put it, there are many roads to take, some a little more risky than others, but here are our two best ones)

Start off quietly "Mr/Ms/Mrs (Darbus is the BEST for this) I'm flattered but you're just not my type, I'm WAY too young!" "Mrs Darbus! I don't know you like that! Ooh that tickles!" Finish loudly for best effect "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME THERE, IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE!"

As soon as the teacher comes outside slam yourself against the wall and fall to the floor, hands covering your face, shouting hysterically "Don't you hit me! It hurts me on the INSIDE!"

9.) Laugh hysterically whenever the teacher tries to make a serious point. Repeat the end of his/her sentences as if they're catchphrases and then laugh harder when they ask you what you are laughing about, adding in the odd compliment " You are SO funny!" or "Mrs Darbus you are such a card!"

10.) If the teacher has to leave the room for any long period of time get the whole class to turn their desks and chairs around to face the other way and pretend to be working quietly when he/she comes in. Give them a strange look if they ask you why you are sitting the wrong way and say that if they looked at the majority they would find that they are the ones facing the wrong way.

11.) If you're told to stop talking start dramatically quoting the declaration of independence (Trust us it's SO worth remembering for the look on their faces) Asking them why they are denying your right as a citizen of America to the freedom of speech and shouting hysterically that they're lowering your self esteem.

12.) Do what they LITERALLY say (This can go on FOREVER, trust us, it's funny every time)

"Go outside!"- Walk outside the school building and if anyone asks you what you are doing there, say your teacher told you to.

"Sit down!"- Sit on the floor, claiming that they never specified the use of a chair.

"Get out!" Begin to climb out of the window (Only do this if your near the ground, ok? Cause Zeke, bless his crème brulee making soul, tried it once on the THIRD FLOOR, let's just say it wasn't pretty) State that your teacher is putting your life at risking by not stressing that you use the door.

"Act your age, not your shoe size!" Explain to them that in European sizes you're actually e.g forty-five

"Stop talking!" Talk louder, explaining that technically you're shouting and therefore obeying their instructions.

"Would you like to teach this lesson?" CALL THEIR BLUFF! Get up and start lecturing the class on something vaguely relevant, just improvise, it's worth it for the shock value.

"Pay attention!" Lean forwards in your seat and stare at them for as long as you can, trying hard not to blink, follow them around the room and remain in your seat after the bell just staring intently at them, hopefully they'll find it a little too creepy to ask you again.

"Is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Share it! The ruder, more insulting and louder the better, saying its their fault for asking you to share it in the first place.

"Be quiet!" Continue the conversation with your friends in a whisper, but use this tone of voice whenever the teacher asks you a question, keeping your voice to a minute whimper so that the teacher does not have a chance of hearing what you're saying, hoping that the irritation factor will be high enough for your teacher to refrain from saying it again.

"Am I keeping you awake?" Reply honestly, "Yes, so if you wouldn't mind talking a little quieter so I can get some shut eye, you're cooperation would be much appreciated." Proceeding to yawn loudly at random and inappropriate intervals to prove your point.

13.) Say the word "like" at least once in every sentence, for some reason this really bugs most adults.

14.) Compliment him or her, always adding "kidding!" after a well placed pause to the end of every sentence. "Nice shoes…Kidding!" "That class was really interesting...KIDDING!!" (Okay, so its not one of our brightest ideas, but its fun for a cheap laugh once all the good ones have been used up)

15.) When the teacher tells you a fact, shout "WHAT???!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS???!!! THAT'S AMAZING!!!" At least every half hour and for added effect shake your head in disbelief, laugh and gasp in astonishment at the most ordinary little things he/she says and turn around to the class every so often and shout in a surprised and incredulous voice "Are you HEARING this guy??!!"

Well, there you have it. Chad Danforth and Troy Bolton's WORK OF GUINEUS! We thank you all for your support, wow! A standing ovation! And flowers, for me? How kind!! Take a bow Chad!

"Laughs" Whatever dude…


End file.
